Parent Coping Strategies
Being a parent or caretaker is not easy. A baby’s constant crying can be stressful and can be a dangerous trigger for you.

If a caretaker or parent feels overwhelmed and frustrated with a crying baby, it is vital they get help before they reach the point of shaking an infant. Ways to cope:

• Put the baby down in a crib or safe place.
• Walk out of the room, take a deep breath, count to 20.
• Call someone close who can come over and give you a break.

Try to remember it is a good idea to take breaks from the demands of child care, particularly if your baby is acting overly fussy.

• Ask a family member or friend to help.
• Hire a baby sitter.
• Take deep breaths.
• Write in a journal.
• Call a friend to talk.
• Draw or paint.
• Listen to soothing music.
• Exercise.
• Vent your frustration by beating a pillow or throwing eggs in the shower.
• Nearly anything that does not harm a child is better than shaking your baby.

If you parent or care for young children, try to remember that babies fuss and cry because they are uncomfortable and have no better way to express themselves. They are not doing it to make you angry or unhappy. Some tips for coping with a crying baby:

• Feed slowly and burp often.
• Offer a pacifier.
• Hold against your chest and walk or rock.
• Put on soft music or sing.
• Take the baby for a ride in a stroller or car or put your baby in a baby swing.
• If you breast feed, avoid eating onions, beans or drinking coffee, tea or cola.

If the baby is still crying and is not hungry, wet or feverish, here are some things you can try:

• A pacifier chilled for teething.
• Wrap the baby snugly in a blanket.
• Hold the baby close, walk or rock the baby while taking or singing softly.
• While sitting, lay your baby face down across your knees, gently pat his/her back.
• Take the baby for a ride in the stroller or car.
• Lay your baby down in her crib for a few minutes and walk away, perhaps he/she’ll calm down on her own.

The next time everyday pressures build up to the point where you feel like striking out – STOP! Try any of these simple alternatives. You’ll feel better, and so will your child.

• Take a deep breath, and another. Then remember you’re an adult.
• Close your eyes and imagine you’re hearing what your child is about to hear.
• Press your lips together and count to 10—better yet, count to 20.
• If someone can watch the children, go outside and take a walk.
• Take a hot bath or splash cold water on your face.
• Hug a pillow or stuffed animal.
• Turn on some music. Maybe even sing along.
• Pick up a pencil and write down as many helpful words you can think of. Save the list.
• Put your child in a time-out chair. Remember the rule: one time-out minute for each year of age.
• Put yourself in a time-out chair.
• Think about why you are angry: is it your child or is your child simply a convenient target for your anger?
• Call for prevention information: 866-243-BABY.

Stop Using Words that Hurt. Use Words that Help.
Here are some expressions that can give children confidence and raise their self-esteem:

• I love you.
• That’s great!
• Let’s talk about you.
• I believe you can do it.
• Believe in yourself as I believe in you.
• You’re doing just fine.
• You’re very special.
• Good job.